Wedding Day: Country Style

There would be two parts to the wedding. Since the bride comes from the country, the first part would be at her home and more traditional. The second part in Saigon, since that’s where the groom is from originally, although now he lives stateside.
So on Thursday, Yen, the MOG, rented a twenty-five-seat bus to take the family out to the Mekong Delta for the country wedding. She didn’t want to spend the night out there, so she made it a day trip, which meant the bus picked us up at 3 am. We went to bed around 10 o’clock and managed to get up at 2 and get ready. We dressed comfortably for the ride and brought our clothes for the wedding to change into.
We dragged our tired butts onto the bus around 2:45, about 15 of us and headed out around 2:50. These people are punctual. I made the mistake of showing up to the airport at noon for a 1:30 flight and everybody, one by one greeted me with a “You’re late!” From then on, I was known as the flake. It’s been pretty rough overcoming that first impression, but I’m doing my best.
So off we went and the first stop was around the corner picking up Qui’s boss, Jimmy, at his hotel. He flew in from San Francisco just for the wedding. He’s a real outgoing, fun loving kind of guy, so even at 3 am he livened the ride right up. Jackie’s sister in law handed out steamed pork buns as soon as we got on the bus. Once we got going the driver put some awful Vietnamese variety show on the video monitor, full blaring volume. Most of the passengers managed to go to sleep anyway, but the speaker was right next to my head, so I suffered. I finally put on my ipod, but even turned way up, I could barely drown out the bad Vietnamese singing. Finally I noticed it was quiet. Jimmy had gone up to the driver and told him to turn it off. Thank you Jimmy!
It was an interesting drive, in the middle of the night, chaotic Saigon resting up for another crazy day. The streets were amazingly empty, just the odd scooter or truck passing by. When we got out of the city, I was fascinated and intrigued by the roadside attractions. There were all these sort of way stations, either a café with those same mini plastic tables and chairs set up on one side and a whole section of hammocks on the other, or along with the table and chairs was a hammock. There were dozens of these places all along the road. They were open air, no walls, just a ceiling and support posts. They appeared to be open at 4 am, but empty. Then there were the giant cafeteria-like places, huge, cavernous and empty, it’s hard to imagine they could ever fill up, but I suppose when the tour buses come through, they jump. Maybe around 5 o’clock, just as I was thinking I could really use a bathroom, we stopped at one of those. By the time I came out of the bathroom, people were already sitting down for soup. They asked me if I wanted some, but I decided I really didn’t need to be eating at 5 am. I have been trying to curb my eating a little bit, which is not easy, since these people eat constantly. And they are so skinny! I have never been or felt so fat in my life. Being in Vietnam is murder for my body image. So even though I want to try all the interesting, new delicious foods, I am also trying to say no every once in a while. I did have some café sua da, delicious as always. Jackie said she was hungry, but didn’t know what to have. She wanted fried egg on a roll, but wanted to split it, so I gave in. Boy did they fry those eggs. Basically deep-fried. And the flies! I was covered in flies. They were relentless. They were all over the bread, but I ate it anyway. I’ve been fairly careful about my eating…well, not really. I like ice in my coffee, like pretty much everybody else, and I have to eat pretty much anything that’s put in front of me. But so far, so good. I have not been sick at all.
So back to the bus and on our way. As we worked our way into the Mekong Delta, we crossed many rivers, tributaries of the Mekong, and since it was formerly Cambodia, lots of huge, ornate, golden temples, which I didn’t get to take any pictures of because I don’t get to stop every five minutes like I would if I wasn’t on a bus full of people. Damn it!
Around 7:30 or 8 I heard the unmistakable flapping of a flat tire. And had my usual reaction, ‘Oh no, it just sounds like a flat tire, it’s…’ But no, it was a flat tire. So we pulled over and all the men jumped out of the bus to help the driver change it. I guess they didn’t have the proper tools, because he had to run across the road to some truck garage to get something and it took at least half an hour or 45 minutes, while the ladies sat in the bus and slept or put on makeup. A woman came buy selling sweet sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves, all tied in a bunch. Just like the tamale ladies in Mexico. There are so many things here that remind of Mexico. So we got some of those and they were delicious. Still warm!
Then we were on our way, but we had to stop to get the tire fixed so we headed to the nearest town, where the driver dropped us off at a soup stand so we could eat. Again! It’s kind of funny how we roll into a place, all 12 or 15 or however many there are of us and somehow a huge table is assembled and food and beer start arriving, like a hurricane blowing in. I really didn’t want to eat a whole bowl of soup, but it’s impossible to refuse food around here. Fortunately, Yen came to my rescue and split a bowl with me. There was a huge temple across the street I really wanted to try to get a picture of, but just as I was getting ready to go, a cloud burst open and we were stuck in another torrential downpour. They usually don’t last too long, but you never know.
The bus came and picked us up and off we went, past more rivers and temples and thatched huts and fields of rice. Such a rich land, so green and beautiful.
We got to a little sort of motel where we all piled into a room to change and get ready. At some point, Jimmy told me that we were really in for an adventure, that we would be getting off the bus and taking a boat down the river and then getting on motorcycle taxis to the wedding. Jimmy has a way of making me think he’s lying all the time, so I didn’t believe it, but sure enough, after we left the motel, we got back in the bus and arrived at a bridge, where we all got off and loaded down with the wedding trays, tramped down a muddy path to a boat that was straight out of Apocalypse Now.


Traditionally, the groom’s family presents a certain amount of trays of gifts to the bride’s family. These trays consist of tea, fruit, liquor, a roasted suckling pig and jewelry for the bride along with red envelopes of cash for the bride’s parents. Apparently, the tradition is that the bride’s family will demand a certain amount of money and jewels or whatever from the groom’s family. If the groom’s family is really rich, they meet the demands. If the bride’s family doesn’t want her to marry the groom, they demand things they know he can’t deliver. But if the bride’s family likes the groom, as is the case with Hue’s bride, they don’t demand anything. But they did bring lots of jewels and cash and trays covered with ceremonial red cloth and a pig! There we all were, all dressed up, although they had arranged because of the rain and the mud, to not wear the traditional costumes they were going to wear. I wish I had worn my plastic flip-flops, instead of my leather sandals. Oh well!
The boat ride was great! It was a pretty big (relatively) boat and we were all seated along the sides down below. But when I saw Qui was standing out front, I ran out there to take pictures. There are moments in life when you sit back and think, “Wow! How did I get here?!” This was one of those moments. Motoring along on a boat up the Mekong River. Un freaking believable! We passed fields of rice and other crops, cows, kids playing. We got to what seemed like a huge lake where several rivers seemed to all come together. It took a long time to cross that, then up more river till finally we got to a little dock, where we disembarked and sure enough, were met

with a bunch of guys on motorcycles. I hopped on one and Jimmy hopped right on behind me, holding his tray, me holding my camera and trying to take pictures the whole way. Then we got to a little muddy path where were greeted by the maid of honor holding a video camera. This was some serious jungle and I was sure I’d be the one to slip on my butt in the mud. Luckily, we all made it in one piece.
So the wedding was at the bride’s house, a little pig farm, orchard out in the middle of the jungle. They had the outside set up with tables and covered and hung with lanterns and red cloth. The immediate family was taken directly into the living room and the rest of us were shown to one of the big round tables. There was a group of young people sitting at one table already. I think I probably made a bit of splash, being the only white person there and I would guess maybe the

first white person ever to visit them. Just a guess. I kept looking over my shoulder at the room where the ceremony was clearly taking place and wondering if I should really be all the way out there at a table or taking pictures, like I had promised them. Besides, this is what I came for! One by one, the rest of the people at my table got up and went in there until I was the last one at the table. Next thing I knew, the table of young people next to me all got up and sat down at my table! They were so sweet! A couple tried to speak English to me and introduced themselves. We ate watermelon seeds and I took some pictures. Finally, I had to get up, and just in time. When I got to the doorway, the bride was just about to come out and be presented. She was so beautiful! She wore a traditional red and yellow brocade dress, with orchids in her hair.

There was a long table in the center with the parents on either side and uncles and grandparents. The aunts were seated on one side on a platform. On the other side of the room was an old traditional four-poster bed. There was an old guy with two teeth and a microphone (sounds like a song) emceeing the ceremony and a videographer who seemed to be orchestrating the whole thing. After the bride came out and the groom handed her the bouquet, which was green-tinted roses with a white feather boa wrapped around it and hanging down and trimmed with plastic rhinestone flower things, they went through the presentation of the jewels. All the red boxes were lined up on the table and opened and the videographer took lots of footage of them lined up just so. First she was presented with the diamond earrings that the MOG put in her ears. Then the bracelet, which the groom put on. Then the diamond necklace he put on as well. Then the ring. Then there was a diamond ring for the groom that she put on his finger. Then each of the relatives was presented one by one to give words of advice or good luck wishes to the happy couple, who presented them with a cup of some liquor. Once they’d worked their way through everybody in the room, I think, they asked me to come up! I couldn’t believe it. I tried to say no, it just didn’t seem right, but it certainly wasn’t right to refuse, so I went up there and tried not to get all choked up with my own emotion of feeling so honored at just being there and then treated like a part of the family by these people who just two weeks before were complete strangers.
Then we ate. And drank lots of beer. “YO!” And then we left. Oh! After I got a tour of the pigpen. Those were some fine looking pigs! Big and healthy and clean and eating up their slop like happy little piggies.


So, I had just asked Yen how we were getting back and she said, “The same way.” But then Jimmy said no, we’re going back another way, on a different boat and no motorcycles. He wasn’t lying. Just over a little hill, was another riverbank with another, smaller boat waiting for us. The old folks got in the covered part, which was just a little box. The rest of us sat in the open air. Jimmy brought the beer. We motored and meandered along the narrow river through palm fronds which whipped us in the face with mud and it was all fun until we got to the big lake, where the boatman kicked it into gear and we took off. It was like taking a speedboat across the San Francisco Bay. Or Splash Mountain. We bounced bounced bounced across the lake and with every bounce we got completely drenched with Mekong River. This was an adventure that was nowhere near ending. But we were all quite happy when we got to the end of that part and arrived back at the bridge where the bus was waiting for us. And our clothes were waiting for us and we all changed out of our soaking wedding clothes right there on the bus. And then we were off again. We stopped for coffee and WC and when we got back on the bus, Jimmy had a bag of beer and ice and a glass which we all passed around for the next several hours till we got to a town that specializes in some kind of fish soup, so we stopped there and had dinner. Then off again and at the next stop, a huge rest area/restaurant/gift shop we got another flat tire.
By the time we got home, it was 11 pm. What a day!